Monday, 7 August 2017

Either the BBC News Twitter feed has been hacked, or civilisation officially ended yesterday...

I've just checked...

...and the tweet is still there on the BBC feed, so I assume it's genuine. Presumably all senior staff have decamped to their Tuscan villas for August (or wherever the media elite hang out these days). Or the organisation has lost its collective mind. One or the other.

I know I'm not as famous as "singer" Stacey Solomons (although I must admit to being sadly unfamiliar with her oeuvre - or her name, come to that), and my incredibly firm and highly-toned body is almost blemish-free. But I'm sure a close inspection would reveal one or two minor imperfections, so I'm tempted to send the BBC a video of myself in a bikini in the the hope of being lavished with praise for my bravery.


  1. Beware the perils of the exposed jatzcrackers. Remember the fate of various Bulgarian weightlifters and poor Roddy McDowell in his Speedos.

    1. The legendarily well-endowed McDowall published a book of "candid" photos of his Hollywood chums in 1990. It doesn't say whether there are any "candid" selfies on display. Used copies are available on Amazon from £30, in case your interested.

  2. In any contest upon which both length and girth were determinants, I just took out enough to win.