The Behavioural Handbook for Bassett Hounds

You always respect your parents:

Let me repeat that: you always respect your parents:

 You are a considerate, gentle lover:

You sing melodiously: 

You appreciate your toys:

You adore days out at the seaside:

You love gambolling with your friends:

You respect and appreciate Nature:

You find the countryside an endless source of fascination:

There's nothing you enjoy more than a lovely bath:

You are always eager for a brisk outing:

You are always positively straining at the leash:

Okay, what about always frantically demanding walkies?

Oh, forget it! You make up for it by always laughing uproariously at your owner's lame jokes:

And by taking a keen interest in their opinions regarding current events:

And, of course, by obeying their every command:

You're a confident self-starter:

You are invariably the life and soul of the party:

You are innately elegant...

...and dignified:

You know when to keep your mouth shut:

You always show appreciation for the food your owners provide:

And you repay them by selflessly protecting them from danger:

And, of course, by being utterly delightful: