A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... they had adverts like these

I'm sure we'd now tend to question the advisability of sitting on your own drinking liquor while fondling a loaded gun - but, obviously, giving...

...one to a child so they can play with it in bed is a simply dandy idea:

As is getting rat-arsed before going for a drive:

Perhaps that's where the phrase "going for a spin" originated? As for the next one, I suspect the lady's husband will soon be a very different man if he persists in running around half-naked and grinning like a maniac while grasping a pair of shears:

Talking of insane grins, I wonder what sort of hallucinogen they put in Ben-Hur cigars:

Better stick to cigarettes:

Or maybe not:

Whenever I hear the phrase "the science is settled", I tend to think of adverts like these. Just as, when I read reports of how fat children are getting these days, I'm reminded that it wasn't always so:

As for losing weight, I think I'd opt for a calorie-controlled diet rather than...

Er...no thanks! Ditto what's on offer here:

"If it don't open within 10 Days"??? Ah, thank goodness - a product you don't need to worry about:

They were both hanged after a brief trial at the Old Bailey, I believe. "Radio-active properties"? Yes, please!:

This isn't a question often asked by modern advertisers:

As for this next one, I know what's being advertised, but I have no idea what the subtext is:

Huh? And, have I turned all Guardianista, or is this next one practically condoning paedophilia?

At least one knows where one is with this extremely tasteful hi-fi advert:

This one's ever more tasteful - and just as pertinent:

As for this one from the 1940s...

...it's merely a case of getting lost in translation: "Big Tits" was apparently the nickname of company owner Titus Tart, the jaunty gent depicted on the bag. 

I'm not convinced that the average "Sport Fan" would have been wildly interested in shots showing the "powerful muscular development of famous Women Wrestlers." A certain type of "sport" fan, perhaps:

This is just plain creepy:

But not as creepy as this nauseating item:

Let's face it - the Seventies were disgusting. Also, very, very silly:

I'll finish with a perplexing advertisement for the Empire Wringer. What's perplexing about it is that (a) the man at the window is quite evidently a woman wearing a false moustache, (b) why would you want to chat with a cross-dressing stranger who suddenly appeared at your window, and (c) how does having one hand free aid conversation?