Gosh, isn't Myq a truly wonderful human being? We are not worthy...

Oh, you darling, darling man - only, you seem to have left a couple out:

Given that Myq(?) Kaplan describes himself as a "stand-up comedian", you'd think he'd have appreciated these suggestions. But Myq is a left-wing comedian, and therefore, bereft of a sense of humour:

Woah! What happened to listening to women, sharing their perspectives and amplifying their voices? I bet he wouldn't find this funny either:

But I suggest Myq immediately tweets his adorable list to this bloke, who's evidently looking for advice on the issue of how to handle a woman: