I'm still not convinced that insulting Brexit voters is the best way to change their minds!

We're stupid, xenophobic extremists? Why, thank you!

And racist, of course. It's well known that calling people racist is one sure way of getting them on your side. And if only Brexit voters had known they were voting in favour of tighter border controls, I'm sure they'd have voted the other way.

Or "Diverse in Unity". Or "Purple in Togetherness". They're all equally meaningful slogans.

Don't do yourselves down - Saxons began invading East Anglia in 410, and you got a chance to welcome the vibrant Danes in 840! Yes, the Danes may have been a bit violent and a tad rapey - but it would have been just as insensitive to judge other cultures purely from the perspective of your own back then as it most definitely is now! After all, what's normal for Norfolkians isn't necessarily normal for, say, Somalis - and diversity, of course, is a great source of strength (and, apparently, unity  - see above). By the way (and I'm sorry of this sounds patronising) you do realise that the Brexit referendum was nationwide, rather than a local issue, and that other parts of the country - especially those which have been deluged by a tidal wave of migrants - might not be so convinced of the benefits of EU membership? 

Well, terrorism might divide us if we keep the borders wide open, because it's a policy which ensures that even more adherents of the most dangerous terrorism-supporting ideology of our era end up living amongst us. Sorry I can't fit that point on a placard, but moving your lips while reading the sentence might help. 

Relax - Labour won't be back in power for at least a decade! As for the Lib-Dems, make that a century.

No, it'll actually give it back to you. Anyway, wouldn't your time be better spent revising for your exams or looking for a girlfriend or trying to clear up those spots? What's the younger generation coming to?

For a long time following the Brexit result, I simply couldn't understand how we'd managed to win. Nine months of spectacularly appalling behaviour by countless Remainers has left me wondering why I ever imagined we wouldn't. Given so many Euromaniacs seem utterly determined to do everything in their power to scupper any chance of a good Brexit deal (while whining on endlessly about "togetherness" and "unity" and "hope", of course), there's bound to be a good deal of turbulence ahead.  But in the unlikely event that I ever find myself doubting the wisdom of leaving the EU, I'll console myself with the knowledge that - at the very least -  we've managed to drive a truly horrible, bitter old man completely round the twist: