Anyone not horrified by Trump's inauguration - or this story of police racism - is guilty of hate crime...

The whole horrifying story, which involves the Bristol police zapping a chap...

...simply for refusing to give them his name and then swearing at them, is definitive proof - as if any were needed - that the British police are institutionally racist and that this is indeed the most appallingly racist country in the whole world ever (apart, of course, from Trump's America) and that we are all guilty in a very real sense. You can read about it in the Telegraph - but please don't watch the video, because it will leave you psychologically scarred for life.  

If any of you experienced even the mildest inclination to laugh, I suggest you reprogramme your brain by by going to the BBC Radio iPlayer and selecting any Radio 4 comedy programme. You will probably never again experience the urge to laugh at anything. After you've listened to, say, The News Quiz, return and test out my theory by studying the images below. If they make you feel grateful that the world is full of brave, selfless, compassionate, morally superior social justice warriors willing to posture like billy-oh on behalf of victims everywhere, then your brain has been successfully rewired. If, on the other hand, you remain convinced that the victims whose rights these wankers are "fighting" for aren't actually victims in any sense of the word which any remotely normal human being would recognise, then the experiment has failed, and you are beyond redemption, you horrible, evil person:

You go, girl!

Promising to wipe out Islamic terrorism? What an utter monster!

Oh, Tim, you are so right! Bless! 

Those babes aren't budgin' an inch till the pantechnicon turns up with their pizza order (on the hour, every hour). Meanwhile, their sistahs here in London also realise that Trump's America is the greatest threat to women's rights in the world today:

I'm glad they didn't bother wasting their righteous outrage marching on any Arab embassies, because, after all, what's not to love?

Probably a Trump supporter, so that's okay. 

Still not laughing? Okay, here's the final test:

If you laughed at the horrible suffering of this pathetic manwomanthing, you really are worse than Hitler. Go to the nearest political re-education centre, where you will be made to listen to every single second of every Mark Steel Lecture ever broadcast: that'll soon wipe the smile off your face.