21 more reason for thanking God you aren't a sad, miserable, resentful, misanthropic Guardian writer

 

Do lighten up, you miserable, self-righteous, sour-faced cow.

I feel enriched for knowing that, Lindy.

Shh! Someone might hear you!

And I've heard a disconcerting rumour that romantic fiction is more popular with women than with men - the government must act!

I have no idea - and even less interest.

Because you're a vile, selfish apology for a human being who should be in prison?

Okay, I won't bother, then.

Dunno. Use a tampon? Or not? Up to you, really.

Or could it be that local communities should make an effort to engage with football clubs? Personally, I think it should be left up to individuals - rather than "communities" - whether or not they wish to attend a football match. Or am I missing something?

A friend recently shared a Waylon Jennings quote with me. Let me share it with you now: "Ya know what, lady. My give-a-shitter just done broke."

Let's not re-examine our glorious colonial past, Sarah - let's just celebrate the hell out of it!

What - a bread line, a psychiatric hospital for dissidents, a KGB torture dungeon? Yes, it was all so much better back then.

Given that the whole of the British Establishment is on your side and that taxpayers are already being royally fleeced to fund your pathetic, baseless delusions, I'm not sure how wasting police and court time so you can feel really, really good about yourself could be viewed as a reasonable course of action, you monumentally silly, hysterical, self-important, anti-democratic, preening waste of oxygen.

The only real question is whether you are morally or clinically insane or just extremely stupid, Mirko.

Okay, help me out here. Why would the number of genes an animal possesses make it more or less suitable for eating purposes? Really, really confused.

As 87.17% of the population of the United Kingdom is classified as white, I fear that non-white fashion models are somewhat over-represented. If you're talking about America (a) you should make that clear, and (b) that's really up to them, isn't it?

I really think we may at last have found the one headline that perfectly encapsulates The Guardian's pathological hatred of this country.

I'd love to, Owie, but I rather suspect The Donald might be a bit busy with one or two other things to read it right now. Maybe after he's been elected President? "Oh, wow! An open letter signed by the guy who runs The Grønmark Blog? Hold all my calls - this is important!"

Is that why the Queen is so incredibly unpopular with the British people and so despised around the globe, Joan? You unbelievably sad little person.

Indeed, Ruth - and why don't we treat thunderstorms with the same rigour we give to bank robberies?

Er...find a new career?

The excellent So.Much.Guardian Twitter feed can be found here. There haven't been any fresh tweets since 12th May and I'm starting to experience painful withdrawal symptoms.