Saudi Arabia and Russia have criticised Norway’s human rights record – the correct response is “Dra til helvete”

Yes, two exceptionally nasty countries which have never really grasped the concept of human rights have used a UN review to criticise the freedomless hell-hole that is modern Norway on a range of issues. According to The Independent (full story here) the enlightened, pluralistic, liberal Saudis accuse Norway of not doing enough to protect its Muslim citizens or to censor criticism of the prophet Mohammed:

The gulf state called for all criticism of religion and of prophet Mohammed to be made illegal in Norway. It also expressed concern at “increasing cases of domestic violence, rape crimes and inequality in riches” and noted a continuation of hate crimes against Muslims in the country.

Yes, that really is Saudi Arabia complaining about domestic violence, rape and income inequality. (Look, I checked the date and it isn’t 1st April.)

Russia – so long a beacon of fairness, justice and tolerance – also took the Norwegians to task:

Russia meanwhile called for Norway to clamp down on expressions of religious intolerance and criticised the country’s child welfare system. They also recommended that Norway improve its correctional facilities for those applying for asylum status.

Russia. Religious tolerance. Child welfare. Yeah, right. 

Of course, this is all the fault of the UN, a sort of international club where tyrants, butchers, gangsters and kleptocrats can tell lies to their hearts content and be taken seriously by the democracy-hating left-wing fantasists who work for it. For instance, it was only two weeks ago that Rashida Manjoo – some silly old bat of a South African human rights “expert” (?) – reported to the UN that sexism in Britain was more “widespread” than in any other country. (I expect her boss rolled his eyes, said "yes, of course it is, dear" and then asked her to make him a cup of tea - "spot of milk, two sugars, love".)

Auberon Waugh used to tell us that, upon meeting a “modern” architect, one should instantly slap his or her face. If you're ever unfortunate enough to be introduced to someone representing the UN, I suggest you punch them with a closed fist - given the sort of totalitarian thugs they seem to admire, they'd probably enjoy it.

Meanwhile, I suggest Norway tells Saudi Arabia, Russia and the UN respectively to “qalab wighek”, “Otebis'” and “bugger off” - and not be so bloody silly.