As I used to spend roughly he same amount of time in both departments, I can report that the middle-aged blokes who haunted each looked remarkably similar - it was just that the rockabilly enthusiastics looked vaguely guilty, as if they were worried about a police raid.
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There’s a scene from an early Woody Allen film where he tries to buy a porn mag in a crowded shop without embarrassing himself, so he selects a stack of respectable titles and hides the dirty one in among them. When he reaches the counter, the proprietor squints at the porn mag and shouts to someone in the back of the shop, “Hey, Jack – how much is Orgasm?” I often imagined this happening to me with rock 'n' roll compilation albums with titles like Dirty Feeling and Problem Child.
The classical music section – protected by a sound-deadening wall of glass from the vulgar horrors beyond – was a different matter altogether: High Culture worshippers could consult various CD Guides before deciding which of the 18 versions of Vaughan Williams’s Pastoral Symphony on offer would meet their aesthetic needs. And one could approach the counter without fear of anyone catching sight of your purchase and sneering at you for being culturally inadequate. I wouldn’t have minded in the least if a shop assistant had called out, “I say, Tarquin – this enormously cultured gentleman wishes to buy the John Eliot Gardiner version of Bach's St Matthew Passion on Archiv – how much is it?” Never happened, of course. And now it never will.
HMV is closing because I haven’t visited it for at least four years. I don’t mean just me – but tens of thousands like me who simply find it more convenient and cheaper to download what we want from the web or to order it from Amazon. That’s a shame, because I’ve spent hundreds and hundreds of blissful hours in record shops over the years. HMV was too big to arouse affection – but I’m certainly grateful to it for introducing me to so much wonderful music.
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