Friday, 23 December 2011

Another 30 inexplicable left-liberal beliefs

1. Only white people can be racists.

2. Anyone who doesn’t live in the city is a fascist.

3. The fact that people are in prison is society’s fault, rather than the fault of those who committed robbery, rape, theft, assault or murder in the first place. They're victims too!

4. Young working class people only join the military to escape deprivation – none of them dons a uniform out of a sense of patriotic duty or a desire for comradeship or because they feel they might do some good or because they’re young and fancy an exciting life.

5. There’s something inherently distasteful about men acting like men and women behaving like women - it's just not natural.

6. Being right about something while everyone else is wrong is impossible: everything is relative – being “isolated” means you’re wrong by definition, even if it leads to a better outcome for you (in fact, that makes it even more reprehensible).

7. It’s better for children in poor countries to starve than for Western companies to pay them wages higher than the local average to produce goods which are then sold at a profit. It is better that poor people should starve than see multinational companies prosper.

8. Free-market trade – which has brought mankind untold benefits – is inherently evil. 

9. Denying any scientific scare story proves you are a right-wing nut-job – even though almost every scare story supposedly based on scientific findings during the past 50 years has turned out to be nonsense.

10. Scientists have a greater insight into the moral implications of their discoveries than anyone else. (Cue Robert Oppenheimer and that bloody "Kali" quote.)

11. The role of the arts is to shock, challenge and outrage the public, rather than to offer enlightenment or solace through beauty.

12. Murdering someone on the grounds of their gender, racial origins, religion or sexual orientation is much worse than murdering a white, heterosexual, non-transgender atheist, and should automatically entail a longer sentence. We’re all equal, see, except some of us aren’t – or something.

13. Left-wing judges are justified in bending the law to suit their prejudices, while conservative judges applying the law even-handedly are a bunch of vicious fascists.

14. Executive pay in private businesses not in receipt of public subsidies is the government’s concern rather than that of the shareholders.

15. Profits made by private companies are immoral, while those made by profiteering private companies acting hand-in-hand with the government via PFIs are a price worth paying.

16. Ordering private businesses not in receipt of subsidies to hire people on the basis of gender or skin colour isn’t a grotesque violation of freedom. It may look like it, but it just isn't. Right?

17. Communist traitors aren’t half as bad as they’ve been painted – after all, they were only acting out of conviction, and their hearts were in the right place, and the fact that they were aiding a vicious, murderous political regime which enslaved hundreds of millions of people and killed tens of millions of them has nothing to do with anything

18. The Left enthusiastically supported Britain’s war effort, while the Right were all appeasers. Don't be fooled by facts!

19.China’s human rights abuses aren’t as reprehensible as those committed in apartheid-era South Africa or Pinochet’s Chile.

20. Cuba’s much vaunted educational record excuses the fact that the country is one vast, brutal prison from which the vast majority of its people would like to escape. America is much, much worse.

21. Being loudly, offensively and dogmatically atheistic is somehow “brave”, despite the fact that you won’t be made to suffer in any way whatsoever for loudly trumpeting your lack of belief.

22. Religion is invariably the enemy of knowledge – despite the fact that Christian priests kept knowledge alive during the Dark Ages, and that the academic establishment has historically done more to suppress original thinking than any number of priests.

23. No-one should be judged by their background – but people who have been to certain schools should be prevented from holding high political office. Unless they're left-wing, of course.

24. It’s perfectly all right for the Enlightened to make anti-semitic remarks, but any white, working-class person doing so should be imprisoned.

25. Holding unacceptable views on race and expressing them in public means your children should be taken away from you.

26. Being a trillion pounds in debt doesn’t mean you have to panic and actually do anything about it - like spending less money, for instance.

27. That “little people” are simply huggable and deserve oodles of subsidies and help and supervision – but their views about anything are a complete and utter irrelevance, and should invariable be ignored.

28. Pursuing unattainable goals by applying policies which have never been known to work anywhere at any time in the whole of human history – and which can be shown to have exponentially increased human misery wherever they have been implemented – is a laudable thing to do.

29. It's far better for poor people in poor countries to stay poor than it is for you to even begin to question your own belief in AGW - after all, that belief makes you feel good, and it seems only reasonable to ask others to remain in grinding poverty so that you can go on feeling good about yourself. 

30. Calling Christmas “Christmas” is deeply offensive to guests in this country who follow a different faith, even though only handful of hook-waving extremists have ever complained about it. At the same time, complaining about the persecution and murder of Christians in the countries from which those guests hail would also, of course, offend them: truth mustn't be allowed to interfere with the great multiculturalism experiment - especially not when it's evidently been such a runaway success!

31. Jesus, had he been alive today, would have given his blessing to the stupid, lazy, malign, selfish, ignorant, deluded fantasists currently camped outside St Paul’s, while condemning the decent, good-natured, generous, hard-working, law-abiding people who create the wealth to support these disgusting, self-obsessed, verminous nihilists.

Yeah, I’m sure he would.

A Merry Christmas to my readers – even the liberals!

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