Friday 29 January 2016

Donald Trump, Cockney Geezer (thanks to Peter Serafinowicz)


When Trump's bid for the Republican candidacy first started to gain traction, I meant to write that he reminded of nothing so much as the sort of old-style London cabbie who's addicted to sliding his window back in order to share trenchant opinions on current events: "Know what I fink vey should do? Vey should..." etc. Apart from the extremely rare occasions when the ranter turned out to be a brutal class war communist, I never minded listening to these tirades, because I usually found myself in agreement with the driver's sentiments (though, unlike them, I never felt any desire personally to wield the electrodes, the hangman's noose, or the shotgun whose use was being enthusiastically advocated). While sharing the anger of cab drivers on many issues, and while agreeing with some of their suggested solutions (I balk at the idea of removing wrongdoers' sexual organs in order to teach them a lesson they won't forget) I've never much fancied the idea of any of them being prime minister - or home secretary, which I suspect would be their preferred role.

To be fair, I don't think that my being in charge of any major government department would be a good idea, either. And that's my main problem with Donald Trump. It would be like having a mouthy cabbie - or me - in the White House, only without any charm, or self-doubt, but with lashings of nauseating boastfulness thrown in (okay, he's rich, but someone worked out that if he'd simply invested his daddy's money in shares, he'd be worth even more than he is now). And I doubt if we'd be doing cruel impressions in public of a disabled journalist or suggesting that a conservative female TV journalist had only asked difficult questions because she was menstruating. Yes, Lyndon Johnson did once suggest that Gerald Ford was so thick that he couldn't fart and chew gum at the same time - but he did so in private. At last night's Republican presidential candidates debate (from which Trump had absented himself), Ted Cruz neatly satirised his main rival's recourse to crude, bullying insults: "I'm a maniac. And everyone on this stage is stupid, fat and ugly. And Ben [Carson], you're a terrible surgeon. Now that we've got the Donald Trump portion out of the way..."

Yes, Americans are angry - and, after seven years of the appalling Obama, who can blame them? But I sincerely hope they're not so enraged that they wind up voting for Trump: they'd be better of calling for a London cabbie - in the unlikely event they can find one who was born in America.

9 comments:

  1. Colonel Bernie Sanders29 January 2016 at 23:25

    If Donald Trump becomes US President I'm definitely moving to Hawaii.

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  2. Actually, the good thing about Trump is that he is creating a new platform for Peter Serafinowicz, one of the most gifted comics of his generation. You featured an earlier version of him and Trump in another post, I think. If you want a non-political example, You Tube has his Paul McCartney tribute "I'll Kill", to which I imagine Macca would most likely reply "I will".

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    1. I'd never seen that before - brilliant!

      I particularly enjoyed Serafinowicz's Terry Wogan ("It's the T-Wogs, rollin' with ya"), his gangsta estate agent ("Did I ahx you?), his gay Sherlock Holmes ("We shall not speak of this again"), and, of course, Brian Butterfield, with his during-dinner mints, his bonbonbons, and Grandma Butterfield's Christmas Pizzer.

      As we're not exactly suffering a glut of top comedic televisual talent, I wonder why he isn't on more?

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    2. I have never heard of Peter Serafinowicz. I looked him up and he is very funny indeed. Thanks for pointing him out. He nails McCartney in the same way that Phil Cool caught Rolf Harris' disconcerting creepiness back in the 80s.

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  3. Lord Luvaduck of Limehouse30 January 2016 at 04:46

    Every Leftie knows that Cockneys are the most dangerous group in London.

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  4. Why is he online and not on mainstream media? Who knows? I think the BBC, with its usual surfeit of moral courage, may have decided that because his Grandfather had apparently been accused of war crimes, they should not commission a second series. Or maybe they thought he didn't quite ring the hilarious comedic bell on the Lenny-ometer.

    His Beatles Let it Be sessions are even funnier.

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    1. Or the BBC comedy department invited a focus group to watch the programme, heard them all laughing, and didn't recognise what that weird noise was.

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    2. I suggest the best way to watch BBC comedy is in the company of your little orang-utan and when he starts falling about then it is OK to laugh.

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  5. http://i.imgur.com/9KSTNhL.jpg

    Alpha Male Trump in action.

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