Monday, 13 January 2014

A portrait of Labour MP Diane Abbott - sanctioned by fellow MPs - cost taxpayers £11,750

WARNING: if you click on the headline of this article, you will see a somewhat startling official portrait of Diane Abbott. I've decided not to place it here at the top of the page because I suspect it might give some of my readers a bit of a nasty turn...

According to this exclusive in the London Evening Standard, a cross-party group of MPs has been spending a small fortune (our money, of course) commissioning portraits of MPs to be hung in the House of Commons and various parliamentary offices around Westminster. I can just about understand why - even thought his country is more than a trillion pounds in debt thanks largely to decisions made by our MPs - it might be thought acceptable to commemorate politicians occupying the highest offices of state. But Diane Abbott???? Every time this truly awful woman opens her mouth and says something stupid or unpleasant in that weird woofly voice (I've speculated before that she might be profoundly deaf) or tweets some ignorant, assinine comment on Twitter (e.g. her moronic intervention following the Mark Duggan verdict last week), relations between black and white Londoners instantly deteriorate.

I massively, massively, MASSIVELY resent even a tiny micro-fraction of what I pay in tax being squandered on celebrating a person who has done so much to drive a wedge between races and classes in London. Given that this self-professed socialist could afford to send her son to a private school so that he wouldn't be subjected to the dreadful education provided by the state system, I suggest the committee responsible for frittering our cash away on this farcical vanity project ask the woman to pay for the portrait herself - or that all the members of the Speaker’s Advisory Committee on Works of Artbe forced to fork out for it from their own pockets.

British readers might enjoy a discussion on benefits on last week's edition of the BBC's This Week politics programme, during which the former Apprentice contestant Katie Hopkins utterly eviscerates Ms Abbott (I particularly relished the bit where Diane Abbott in her most unctious "caring" voice announces that she recently visited a food bank in her constituency only to be met with a witheringly sarcastic "Oh, well done!"). The exchange can be found here.


  1. Quite apart from anything else, the painting itself is terrible. It looks like a photograph that's been through one of those apps that my children have with names like Faceblatter or Fatmoosh. I am sure one of your more talented correspondents could have knocked out a suitably respectful portrait of Ms Abbott for under 50 quid.

  2. Been studying the portrait of D. Abbott which nearly triggered the first non-alcohol related attack of delirium tremens in our time [I have sent the story to the dimunitive Fergus Walsh at the BBC]. One of my recurring nightmares is waking up in bed next to this women and having the hab-dabs.

    I am reminded of those endless cod science stories [usually fronted by Walsh in his suit from the Harrods Boys Dept or Pallab Gosh] where some group of idiots have discovered a piece of prehistoric DNA or a bone fragment or suchlike and proceeded to generate an image of a dinosaur or a neanderthal and get it plastered all over the media. This image would probably be titled "Blancmange Woman from The Rift Valley".

    As she will probably be the Home Secretary in 2015 I should be more courteous.

    1. Do we know how Ms Abbott views this apparent caricature (refer to a dictionary for the definition). Is this how she would wish to be represented in the House? Does it reflect both her dignity and gravitas and the ability of the portrait painter?
      Answers to these questions should be sent to The Beano.

    2. Good question. I imagine that, being a raving egomaniac, she loved it to start with, but probably not quite as much after we all collapsed laughing.

    3. Ah, we meet again Mr Bond (gronmark) that last time was at least thirty five years ago and KCS is even more distant. Funny old world.

    4. Well, your blog doesn't exactly provide any clues! Is the name a hint (in which case I know who you are)? Go on - put me out of my misery!

    5. Our last meeting was in a Fleet Street pub with Nick Jones, the affluent banker. The KCS connection should clinch it: Martin Riley -
      Out of your misery?

    6. Out of my misery and delighted. Will email. (Sounds like you're still interfering with wildlife?)

  3. Wildlife interference in an amateur capacity - they can't touch you for it. For the last thirty years I have been involved in contemporary art and I am now an art historian - funny old world. I look forward to hearing from you.