Robert Webb : left-wing comedians say the funniest things - but never intentionally

There was a luvvy spatette between prominent left-wing comics Russell Brand and Robert Webb last week. Brand (as you probably remember) was predicitng a revolution and telling us how pointless political parties were, only for Webb to announce - while accusing Brand of "talking through your arse" - that he was rejoining the Labour Party after accusing Brand . Webb then proceeded to address us via his own fundament:

"The last Labour government didn’t do enough and bitterly disappointed many voters. But, at the risk of losing your attention, on the whole they helped. Opening Sure Start centres, introducing and raising the minimum wage, making museums free, guaranteeing nursery places, blah blah blah: nobody is going to write a folk song about this stuff and I’m aware of the basic absurdity of what I’m trying to achieve here, like getting Liberace to give a shit about the Working Tax Credit, but these policies among many others changed the real lives of millions of real people for the better."

Let's leave aside Webb's coprophiliac tendencies and turn instead to the chilling assertion that "the last Labour government didn't do enough". He's kidding, right? If it had done any more we'd all be foraging for roots in Hyde Park. Labour - in case anyone had forgotten - destroyed the British economy; created a vast, unemployable, semi-criminal underclass; hugely increased the cost and size of the public sector to no effect whatsoever; deliberately engineered the greatest invasion by foreigners this country has ever experienced; vigorously promoted multiculturalism with the intention of destroying the indigenous culture; dumbed down the education system to such an extent that our young people are now among the most innumerate and illiterate in the developed world; embroiled Britain in a series of humungously expensive foreign wars while routinely diverting funding to the most useless, undeserving and unpatriotic elements of society; spent a fortune turning the NHS into an organisation which routinely tortured and killed sick people; turned the police from a force dedicated to protecting the innocent into one whose main raison d’être became the protection of the Left’s pet victim groups; and, as can be deduced from the graphic below, created mass youth unemployment by introducing a minimum wage:

Hell’s Bells, Bob: Labour certainly changed the lives of millions of “real” people: but the idea that it changed them for the better is hilarious - which is a lot more than be claimed for most of your recent television performances.