Tuesday, 17 January 2017

Theresa May's Hard Brexit speech + Trump's inauguration - with this much butthurt, Anusol stocks must be running dangerously low

Er... I'm not sure "democracy" means what you think it means, Timmy...

Farron wasn't the only EU fifth columnist walking gingerly today:
And people claim our left-liberal elite is arrogant!
Yeah, whatever. 
Well, Mehdi... no, let's not bother.
Yes, but in your alternative reality, an Eskimo taking a leak makes a fresh Scottish independence vote more likely.
I must have missed the bit where the Prime Minister employed the phrase, "Fuck You" - but good for her!
What - the world hates Britain because Britain abolished slavery? I'm confused. But not as confused, it seems, as this eminent Labour economist:
The pound shot up, mate - I'd lay of Twitter, if I were you, or they'll asking you to return your CBE. Still, Mrs. May did leave the Remoaners one tiny little straw to clutch at: 
Meanwhile, on the eve of Donald Trump's inauguration, America's entertainment community is already hard at work ensuring he wins again in 2020:
Now what? Well maybe you give your tiny brains and planet-sized egos a rest and keep your mouths shut for a bit (ten years should do it).  This woman is, apparently, famous in America. Also, it seems, utterly barking:
Veteran civil rights leader and Democratic Party congressman John Lewis (who staged a sit-in about something or other in Congress last year, and did something brave in the '60s, so we're all supposed to take him jolly seriously) has refused to attend Trump's inauguration on the fantastically spurious grounds that he isn't a "legitimate" president - because of Russia or because his hair's orange, or ...stuff. This can't be the same old booby who, back in 2008, claimed that Obama was being subjected to racist treatment by Republicans, and declared: "I've always said if you don't respect the man, respect the position", because that would make his petulant decision to boycott tomorrow's ceremony an act of hypocrisy. Not only has he apparently forgotten making that statement - he's also forgotten about pulling this silly stunt before (the silly stunt):
Sounds like Lewis regards all Republican presidents as illegitimate (and they may very well feel the same about him). And the agony just keeps getting worse:
Aw! What a crying shame! But never fear - even if the Anusol (or Preparation H in the US) runs out, there's a brand new remedy for butthurt lefties:


  1. Isn't it utterly delicious having the likes of David Lammy preaching to us about democracy. This is the same irritating twerp who thought the referendum was only "advisory".
    Still, with Brexit and now Trump I can smile benignly at their endless discontent. It was a dreadful 2016 and 2017 looks like it's going to be even worse for them.

  2. I was actually quite impressed by Theresa May's speech. Definitely need to make a clean break, none of this half in, half out mish mash. Scott, you forgot to mention where prospective customers can purchase a tin of Dr Trump's Butt Hurt Salve? Is it in major chemist's stores yet?

  3. Yes the salve could be a winner.
    It appears the Anti-Fascist Coalition aim to disrupt Trump's inauguration.
    This has occurred before in history between 1921-1932 in Germany.
    Then they were known as Sturmabteilung or Brownshirts.

    1. Yes, one of the great mysteries of our era is why the people who call themselves anti-fascists spend their time trying to abolish free speech, refuse to accept democratic votes, and indulge in a seemingly never-ending orgy of thuggish street violence - while the people they call fascists support free speech, respect the electorate's decisions, and, on the few occasions when they protest, do so in a calm, orderly and legal fashion.

  4. I think the coinciding of Brexit with Trump's victory offers some terrific possibilities for Global Britain. I'm glad Theresa May has really bitten the bullet and gone for the full Brexit rather than dillydallying in the middle, which is useless for everybody. Whatever one's position during the referendum, it's important now that people look on the positive side and try to make this real opportunity work. I notice Boots in Bahrain already have the Butt Salve on their shelves.

    1. With you all the way, tropicalrob - if the butthurt anti-democrats in our midst were to get their way and the UK ended up being forced to stay in the EU, I'm sure we'd be in for a prolonged punishment beating from powerful world leaders like the Prime Ministers of Slovenia and Malta - both of whom have had the sheer impertinence to threaten the world's fifth largest economy with "consequences". Strikes me that non-fanatical remain voters might as well do their best to make Brexit work - in the unlikely event that it doesn't, they can always go back to moaning.

  5. Tim Farron. After another murderous outrage Farron was one of the first as always to clamber aboard the emotional incontinence band-wagon "When something terrible happens, I feel it. I am not one of those who shies away from emotion." Charles Moore labelled him "Terribly-upset Tim, the Man of Feeling."[The Spectator, 25th June 2016].

    Butt-Hurt Salve. A tip for those people developing baggy eyes after listening to this endless, bloody Brexit debate. After you apply a thin film of Anusol with a Q-tip for a few days under your eyes your bags will disappear.

    If you are squeamish about handling lower-region medication try traditional U.S. hair preparations like " Fop Hair Pomade", "Dapper Dan" or "Mr. Natty". The packaging for Butt Salve is based on Fop.

    You will end up with a vacuous, wrinkleless, stupid face radiating compassion - like Tim Farron.

    1. As Thomas Sowell might have put it: "The problem is that Tim doesn't know what thinking is: he confuses it with feeling."

      Terribly-upset Tim seems to suffer from a very modern affliction: he enjoys feeling upset about nasty, horrid things because he believes that shutting down one's rational faculties and responding like an hysterical toddler prove you're a really good person - when all it actually proves is that you're a self-obsessed, self-regarding, virtue-signalling bore. If only emotionally masturbatory politicians like Timmy stopped spewing out policies solely on the basis that spewing them out makes them feel morally superior, took themselves out of the equation, and started coming up with policies that might actually work.

      Farron is the kind of Christian who occasionally makes me ashamed to be a Christian.

  6. It's not every day that a company has £7 billion lopped off its market cap but that's what happened this morning to BT.

    Sitting down is now a very painful experience for Gavin Patterson, CEO. The family size Anusol is called for.

    BT's problems are racily explained by the Telegraph. (a) BT got ripped off in Italy. And (b) New Labour is no longer in power to give BT pantechniconsful of £50 notes to do nothing for the NHS.

    Mr Patterson can't agree, of course. He says the problem is Brexit ...

    1. When football managers start blaming Brexit for their team's latest woeful performance, we'll know it's time to ban it as an excuse.

  7. I don't think the problem is Brexit, but the fact that Patterson has been blessed with a magnificent head of hair on which he lavishes much attention instead of looking after business. Businessmen turning 50 and in charge of vast enterprises should wear their hair "en brosse" and not be fussing with their tresses. He even wears a raffish beard.

    Take the case of Nick Buckles, erstwhile CEO of G4S. When he was let go at age 52 he was sporting a full "Bernie Ecclestone". In spite of his failures [usually involving money given to his company by HMG]he walked away with around £30 million.

    I once worked for a company who acquired a thrusting new CEO from America. Before he embarked on his introductory tour of Europe I was instructed to get him an adaptor for his hair-dryer and leave it in his hotel suite as he liked to have a "blow-dry" [I am sure that is what I was told] as soon as he got in. He only lasted 3-months.

    I wonder if President Trump spends much time on his hair?

    1. For President Trump to win with his hair someone had to lose with her hair.

      A lady columnist in the Spectator several years ago wrote a piece in which she dutifully castigated Hillary Clinton for a number of political misdemeanours and allegedly dubious legal practices.

      It was just workmanlike stuff, nothing venomous.

      Then the tempo changed and the columnist wanted to know when Mrs Clinton was going to settle on a hairstyle – she'd just changed it, again – grown-up women don't keep changing their hairstyle, said the columnist, or more like shrieked the columnist.

      I didn't understand the import of this article at the time. Now I see how Mrs Clinton lost so much of the women's vote.

  8. Very interesting. Mrs Bandaranaike, Mrs Golda Meir and Baroness Thatcher all settled on hairstyles early and had stellar careers. Ditto Mrs Merkel although she has blotted her copy-book recently.

    1. Sounds like a potential three-part BBC4 series for Lucy Worsley - she could dress up in lots of wigs and frocks and twinkle like billy-oh.