Friday, 25 November 2011

We now have to pay for the underclass even if they get jobs

Let me get this straight. I pay for their pregnant, single-parent mothers in the run-up to the birth. I go on paying during their state-funded infancy. I pay for them to go to school. I pay for the police who catch them when they get up to no good from the age of 10 onwards, and for the courts that set them free to offend again if they get caught.

I pay for them via increased insurance premiums, and spend every night my son is out with his friends worrying myself sick in case he bumps into any of these violent, lawless little bastards. In the unlikely event they’re ever sentenced to prison, I pay for their all-to-brief stay. If they get a place at university on the basis of “disadvantage”, I pay for them there. If they get some sort of useless pretend job with the local council, I pay for that via my rates. If they don’t get a local council job, I pay for them to be unemployed. I pay for their “partners” and any children they might produce. Then, if they manage to reach old age without succumbing to drink, drugs or a diet of junk food, I pay for their pension. If they reach extreme old age, I pay for their care home. I'm not sure what the arrangements are for burying people who've lived off the state all their lives - but I can hazard a guess.

The only possibility that I would ever find myself not having to pay for someone else’s offspring was that they would somehow slip through the net and find a job in the private sector.

But now our Tory-led government has caved in to its Lib-Dem partners once again, and has agreed to give yet more of my money to private companies to take on 400,000 unemployed youths.

Thanks to Nick Clegg, who is leading this One Billion Pound initiative, the circle is now complete – no matter what this offspring of the underclass does with his life, I end paying for him, cradle to grave.

Is that really what the founders of the welfare state intended?

Mind you, as long as it allows Nick Clegg to feel good about himself, it will all have been worth it.


  1. The DPM. Clegg appeared on the "To-Day" programme yesterday [Friday 25th November] and gave a lamentable performance presenting his new iniative. Like his predecessor he seems to be developing aphasia. Perhaps he was speaking from an awkward physical position. He adopted the Bambi Defence of constantly using his interviewer's first name. I think he said "Look, the government has £700 billion to spend so what's another £ 1 billion?" He kept talking about not grasping sticks at the wrong end, but grasping them in the middle. Somebody should have grasped a stick and plunged it up his backside. Instead of gaining capital from a positive initiative he ended up on the defensive even before it had been launched. Hopefully, one for the filing cabinet. Clegg, what will be your next "Mr de Mille, I am ready for my close-up" idea?

    The PM. Cameron is now rapidly approaching his "Coyote Morning". When a coyote traps a limb and cannot free itself it chews the limb off. The expression is used to describe a disastrous one-night stand when your arm is trapped under your partner's body and you are desperate to get away unnoticed in the morning.

  2. I think you may be right, SDG, and Cameron might well be approaching his "Coyote Morning". The Mail reported that, upon spying a mouse scuttling along the skirting board during a No. 10 dinner, Cameron threw a fork at it and exploded: "“Get out, you little f*cker. I’m f*cking sick of these f*cking pests. They’re f*cking everywhere!”
    I suspect what he'd actually caught a glimpse of was Nick Clegg.