They walk among us. They look like us and talk like us, and they give every impression of having our best interests at heart - but their goal is to destroy us. They've realised that the greatest weaknesses of those of us fortunate enough to live in Western democracies are a desire to feel good about ourselves and a longing to be thought well of by others. Armed with these insights, they've set about convincing us that what we know to be true is not only false, but wicked. By exploiting our good manners - our desire not to offend - and our addiction to feeling morally superior, they've gradually replaced (to paraphrase Thomas Sowell) what works with what sounds good.
For instance, they curb the use of racially-based "stop and search" powers by the police to prevent knife and gun crime because, apparently, targetting the demographic most likely to be carrying potential weapons shows a lack of regard for the human dignity of those questioned - and then, when the murder rate inevitably soars, they pretend government "cuts" are to blame. They champion the rights of "travellers" to set up a shrine to a criminal outside the home of his intended 78-year old victim - while the old man who inadvertently killed this predator has to sell up and move elsewhere to ensure his own safety. They allow an unmanageable flood of immigrants into the country - and are then outraged that there's a housing shortage and that the NHS and the state school system can't cope. They convince us that white racism is the reason blacks and Muslims are over-represented in the prison population and under-represented in Oxbridge colleges - and foam at the mouth if anyone dares to suggest it might have something to with multiculturalism, schools or parents. They think demanding that private companies appoint more female board members won't affect performance. They believe the UN is a force for good in the world, while America is a force for evil. They approve of British soldiers being hounded mercilessly for years on end over allegations for which, it seems, there is little or no evidence - while at the same time weeping grateful tears for those who "run towards the danger while the rest of us run away from it." They can't see anything wrong with allowing Muslims who left the country in order to kill for ISIS to waltz back in, as if they've just been on an extended holiday - but thunder that "enough is enough" when Islamic terrorists slaughter innocents here at home. They think it's more important to prosecute those who write hurtful things on social media than burglars, shoplifters and muggers. They turn a blind eye to the mass rape of children by ethnic gangs in English towns and cities because not to do so would be "racist".
A swift glance at the news headlines on any given morning would persuade anyone actually born on this planet that, at some point during the latter half of the 20th Century - quite possibly in the early sixties - a vast fleet of alien spaceships visited Earth in order to deposit tens of thousands of genetically-engineered humanoid creatures for the purpose of conducting a large-scale scientific experiment, the object of which was to discover how long it would take to undermine and replace the belief systems of the most culturally, politically and scientifically advanced societies on Earth. Perhaps they'd already conducted versions of this experiment on other planets, and simply wished to hone their mass mind-altering techniques. Perhaps we're their very first test subjects. Whatever, I wish they'd stop before the damage being wrought on Western civilisation becomes irreversible.
The scenario I've just described popped into my head recently, after an hour spent absorbing the Telegraph, Twitter and BBC radio news bulletins. Among the non-existent issues these audacious alien researchers are now trying to make us care about are the non-existent gender pay gap, lavatory arrangements for a tiny number of transexuals, the terrifying threat posed by rampant Islamophobia...and the impossibility of leaving the EU customs union because we'll end up sharing a border with an EU country (a situation other countries seem perfectly able to cope with).
My theory would certainly help account for the seemingly unstoppable spread of political correctness in and by our public sector institutions. After all, we didn't ask for it, and we evidently don't much like it. Yet we've had it rammed down out throats for half a century - starting with the ferocious establishment reaction to Enoch Powell's "Rivers of Blood" speech (or perhaps that was a set-up and Enoch was one of the invaders - there was certainly something other-worldly about him: as for Ted Heath, well, he definitely wasn't from around here).
But there is hope. Despite several decades of being hectored, shamed, shouted at, mocked, threatened, or ruined - even, in some cases, imprisoned - it seems that the majority of us (i.e. the people who pay the whopping public sector wage bill, and generate every penny so generously spent on our behalf by the enlightened agents of the therapeutic state) still haven't entirely swallowed the alien scientists' counterintuitive, irrational, destructive propaganda that everything we formerly believed is wrong. True, they came close to achieving their goal, by almost getting us to accept that all the suffering in the world was somehow our fault and it was therefore our duty to put it right, and that all of the accumulated wisdom handed down to us by previous generations was a mere trifle compared to the piercing insights of Guardian-reading leftists "teaching" courses with the word "studies" in the title at former polytechnics, or the ignorant witterings of silly little girls and shrill, testosterone-deficient little boys - not to mention a plethora of half-witted celebrities - on social media.
The majority of us are willing to adhere to the new rules of political correctness as long as it accords with our notions of politeness, common sense and decency. But, as the progressivist juggernaut rolls ineluctably on - ever-expanding, seemingly immune to mockery, anger, disbelief, appeals to reason, or government promises to curb it - it's becoming increasingly clear that we draw the line at knowingly abetting the destruction of everything we believe, value, and hold dear.
There used to be a divide in this country between the classes - now it's between those of us who realise something's gone terribly wrong and those who've allowed themselves to be reprogrammed by the malevolent visitors from Planet Zob (whose inhabitants probably laugh their smargobs off at a reality TV show called something like Get Me Out of Here...I'm a Zobian or Boy, These Earthlings Are Dumb!) It's the duty of those of us who haven't yet succumbed to expose this sinister plot to make us reject (quoting Evan Sayet), "...all fact, reason, evidence, logic, truth, morality, and decency - all the tools that you and I use in our attempts to be better people, to make the world more right by trying to be right, by siding with right, by recognising what is right and moving toward it."
Venceremos!
Now, where did I put that David Icke-style turquoise shell-suit?
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