I think The Sun spoke for us all this morning:
Personally, I think a four-year ban for every member of the current Australian squad would be a good idea, because then we wouldn't have to spend the next fifty-two months dreading yet another hammering down under. As it were.
All together now:"Oh dear, how sad, never mind!"
There will be no suspension, I think, the Chakrabarti Commission will find the Australians not guilty.
ReplyDelete...while identifying South Africa as the true culprits.
DeleteThis event has released a barrage of anti-Australian comment in the British media - although if I had a cricket team like the English [ you know, that bunch of clowns who just got creamed in New Zealand] I would tend to stay quiet.
ReplyDeleteSome of the comments have been quite amusing in the DT:
"How can you rub sugar and then sandpaper on your balls in front of millions of people? I find it hard to pee behind a bush. Young Bancroft has some serious issues to sort out. One can only wish him well." {Dennis Menais 26/3].
Chris Thompson replied "Well, he has sweet and sour balls now...as well as bruised plums."
A new expression has come to light ["shirt-fronting"] which the English interpret as fronting up and confronting your accusers. It does not mean this at all. The English media should stick to expressions they are very familiar with like "shirt-lifting".
Advance Australia Fair!
The "fair" has now been surgically removed from your national anthem.
DeleteSpot on, Mr Moss. It's a job for Shami, who can weigh all the evidence and then ignore it - there's nothing to see here folks, it's time to move on. The absence of contrition for anything other than being caught is positively Clintonian in its arrogance. In effect, Smith is saying "I'm sorry. I mis-cheated.". The news that the Australian team has a senior leadership group that meets before the day's play and mandates the youngest player to cheat is sufficient evidence of what lawyers term "mens rea" to condemn the lot of them. I'll give it a week before some highly paid PR firm places a sympathetic piece in the media to the effect that Smith is "in a dark place" and "wrestling with his demons" in a 14,000 dollar a week clinic where he is coming to terms with his mendacity addiction.
ReplyDeleteThe only positive thing in all this is the knowledge that wherever they play in future, cricket fans will ensure that their deeds are not forgotten.
On behalf of the English Nation [and Mark Oaten] I take it upon myself to forgive the whole Australian cricket team for their recent ball-tampering activities.
ReplyDeleteThis does not extend to Darryl Lehmann who has already been exonerated by Cricket Australia. Good luck on Friday, lads!
How things have changed since my day...
DeleteNot that much, WG. The Kipper and Colin Milburn had your girth, at the moment Hasheem Amla and Moeen Ali have your bushy beard, but the recently retired Pakistan batsman Inzaman-al-Huq could not only match you for height, girth and bushy beard he was also like yourself a stunning batsman. He also thought that running between the wickets was a load of old cobblers.
ReplyDeleteEheu fugaces!
DeleteGesundheit!
Delete