Andrew Neil - Glasgow's very own "razor king" - slices and dices the unspeakable John Bercow

I used to be quite rude about Andrew Neil...

... - who I had the inestimable "pleasure" of working with for two years - but now I'm rooting for him to be given a peerage (at the very least). The hell with it - give him Scotland, so he can sort out the Nats, or the "tartan twats" as he used to call them and their delusional Braveheart ilk. 

Just so we can all enjoy it again, here's a transcript of Neil's broadside,  courtesy of The Spectator:

‘I appreciate that he’s expressed no interest in doing so anyway, but that won’t stop me doing a bit of grandstanding and virtue signalling before the rest of the media and the wider public.

I’ve taken this position after much serious consideration as to how much free publicity it’s likely to garner me, and without consulting the other place — because frankly what Newsnight does is its own business and he’s never going to settle for BBC2.

Now I know that over the years, we’ve welcomed Vlad the Impaler, Diane Abbott, Adolf Hitler, Ken Livingstone and Transylvania’s very own Count Dracula into this studio, but let me say as a self important, solipsistic, egotistical, preening, pretentious, puffed-up, pompous little pixie in love with the sound of my own voice, this programme’s long-running opposition to sensible debate and proper analysis coupled with a deep commitment to free Blue Nun for all means I would not feel comfortable sharing a sofa on the public airwaves with someone who says what he thinks and has never even had a sip of alcohol in his life.’

It's odd that, having for years enjoyed the photograph of Neil in a vest and baseball cap with an exotic young lady in Private Eye, we now find that it's the nightclubbing Scotsman who's producing biting satire, while the Eye has degenerated into a toothless left-liberal establishment house mag.