Saturday 13 August 2016

Thank God Nigel Farage didn't grow a 'tache during the referendum campaign - Remain might have won!

"Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges!"
Beards have been a thing for several years now - they're everywhere. They're hip, cool, trendy, happening, now, zeitgeisty. But...

...solo moustaches? Not so much. It's been a long time since Tom Selleck looked ever-so-manly in Magnum P.I.  Very few men since then have been able to carry off a moustache with aplomb - here's the evidence:

The "Bitchy Airline Steward" special
"Oh mate - now you're just embarrassing the whole team"
"...and you're embarrassing the whole of Australia!"
Rubbish...but not as rubbish as the next one:
Justin Bieber, I'm told. Still, he's young - unlike:
One that covered his whole wreck of a face might work
Any relevant remark might be construed as a hate crime - wowsers!
At least he had an excuse, being in character and all

It took me a few minutes to realise who Farage's new (and, one hopes, temporary) look reminded me of. And then I got it:


I'd still happily vote for the former UKIP leader... but I wouldn't buy a car off him, not looking like that.

3 comments:

  1. Good Grief! That moustache belongs in the domain of the dodgy car dealer, as you imply.

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  2. I used to rather like a tache as a younger chap and have grown several down the years. I fancied that I looked a little like a latter day Flynn or Gable but alas historic photos prove otherwise. I looked like an utter pillock!

    One of my efforts I even waxed the tips and curled it, Poirot style, making me look an even bigger plonker.
    But I was young at the time and impressionable.
    Nigel, you've no excuse. Shave the darned thing off.

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  3. Or perhaps the next leader of UKIP will be the one who can successfully pull the thing off Farage's face with one tug - a sort of modern-day version of the sword and the stone.

    I'm not against all solo moustaches - some faces benefit from them (Burt Reynolds and the above-mentioned Tom Selleck, for instance - and Jeremy Bowen should be made to wear a false one if he refuses to regrow an actual one). It never occurred to me to wear a moustache all on its own, mainly because when I started sporting a beard and moustache I was 23, the moustache was still a tad Justin Bieberish, and the reason for allowing my facial hair to grow was because, having avoided acne in my teens, I was unexpectedly afflicted by it in my early twenties and shaving became a problem for a few months.

    Is there any man over the age of, say, 30 who doesn't look back on some of their previous moustache, beard and hair-style choices with a shudder, Mr. Milton? I haven't shaved in 40 years - and now I'd be terrified of finding out what I really look like!

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