Jazz hands? Shouldn’t the feminist students’ correct response be that flappy-hands, on-the-verge-of-tears thing luvvies do?

NUS feminist doing jazz hands

You’ve probably already heard about the request by some ultra-feminist attendees at the National Union of Students annual women’s conference to do “jazz hands” rather than applaud or whoop during speeches. After I read the following tweets, I checked the date on the newspaper in case I’d lost a week and it was April Fools’ Day. It wasn’t. It seems these were sent by real people (using the term “real” loosely):

'Whooping is fun for some, but can be super inaccessible for others, so please try not to whoop! Jazz hands work just as well.' 

'Some delegates are requesting that we move to jazz hands rather than clapping, as it's triggering anxiety. Please be mindful! #nuswomen15'

Nona Buckley-Irvine, General Secretary at the London School of Economics Students' Union, had this to say to the Daily Mail (here):

'Jazz hands are used throughout NUS in place of clapping as a way to show appreciation of someone's point without interrupting or causing disturbance, as it can create anxiety. I'm relatively new to this and it did feel odd at first, but once you've used jazz hands a couple of times it becomes a genuinely nice way to show solidarity with a point and it does add to creating a more inclusive atmosphere.'

Oh, for Pete’s sake! Inclusive of whom?  People who are too wet to live?

Okay, fish in a barrel and all that.  But it does rather highlight the fascistic tendency among urban compassionistas to make normal people (among whom I would count those who don’t suffer panic attack when other members of an audience applaud) – fit their lives around abnormal people (e.g. those afflicted by various socially crippling phobias).

I suspect most of us don’t really mind suffering mild inconvenience in order to accommodate people with severe physical or mental problems. But it’s utterly unreasonable to expect the world – i.e. customs, traditions, buildings, transport systems etc. - to be reconfigured in order that wheelchair-users, epileptics and those who suffer from, say, clinical depression don’t have to make allowances for their various conditions. If we followed the example of the NUS’s feminazi wing, everyone would be forced to use a wheelchair in order to make Stephen Hawking feel “included”.

It’s quite simple – if you suffer from claustrophobia, don’t go potholing; if you’re an agoraphobic, don’t attend events at Wembley Stadium or visit the Grand Canyon; if you’re in a wheelchair, don’t sign up for an ascent of Everest – and if you start hyperventilating when a “sister” shrieks, “Woo! Way to go, girl!” in response to a rousing speech attacking Tory cuts or calling for all men to be castrated, don’t attend NUS women’s conferences.

Where do these young women learn this crap? At home? If so, more children need to be taken into care. At school? If so, the teachers responsible should be fired AND be forced to attend the next NUS Women’s Conference.

Anyway, shouldn’t the correct approval response from an audience consisting of sensitive young women be that flappy-hands, on-the-verge-of-tears thing actresses tend to do when accepting an award?