Monday, 11 February 2013

Hot off the press! Benjamin Zephyr Zodiac demands justice for Chris Huhne!

The Grønmark Blog is enormously proud to be given the opportunity to print this anguished cry for justice from the poet laureate of the oppressed peoples of the earth. I should  point out that the attitude to members of the gay community - not to mention towards women who look like men - prevalent in the vibrant culture which spawned Ben isn't necessarily one with which liberal urbanites such as ourselves might feel entirely comfortable. But I think we can safely assume that Ben is really critiquing white, conservative, middle-class bigotry here rather than "dissing" homosexuals or, indeed, ugly women.

Bruddas! Rise up for Christopher Paul-Huhne,
A working class hero who him refuse to dance to Society's discordant tune
Respec' to Huhne an t'ing,
Fe now on de rope of injustice him gwan swing. 
Bruddas, him is a victim of repression,
Fe some minor transgression,
An' him have fe to gib up him seat in de middle of de Parliamentary session,
Cos de Tory opposition,
Force Chris fe to have to resign from him important position
In da monstrous coalition.
An' probably him now spen' long time at her Majesty's volition
In da clink, pretty soon. 
Unlike Geoff Hoon. 
Fe me friends and Rastas, hear dis.
Hoon's was de bigger crime
Fe to let da Babylon beat me Arab bruddas wi' dem America torcha stick
Time after time,
Dressin' dey in de orange coat an' dog collah of Guantanamo,
Fe to wear it, dis brudda him say "No, No, No!
An' t'ing"
Fe Cuba it is a place me not wan' go,
Raas Claat.
Not at dis time,
Even tho' it is a centrally controlled free and peaceful socialist paradise wi' no poverty, illness or crime,
An enjoy many tourist attractshuns an' a relatively moderate seasonal clime. 
So Bruddas. Ask you dis ting. Why was him arrested
On de way back from Stannessted
As have been attested?
Ten year have passed since him speeded up to town
Wha' dis Rasta care if him stick him foot down?
Mebbe him in a hurry fe to give one of him babes plenty lovin's, like Clegg, twice nightly
Tho' lookin' at de photos of dey, dat seem a bit unlikely.
Wiv all him money an him racy, LibDem style,
As was establish at de trial,
Why him ed up wid a babe which have a bit of a dodgy dial?
Dis is anuvva mystery,
Like him personalised number plate of H11 HNE,
Which is a total crap waste of him cash as far as dis Rasta can see.
Maybe society is not so much to blame,
If dis genius of de left don' even gwan know how to spell properly him name.
An to return to the subject of him old wife,
Him nex' wife,
An him love life.
Wi' all de plenty money in him trousers,
An de number of him houses,
Bein' three time de number of him spouses,
It not like him exactly have to gwan go short o' plenty punanny,
So me no unnerstan' why him end up wid a doppleganga of Wallace an' Gromit's granny?
Still at leas' him not of de usual liberal tendency
Which consist of trousahs on de floor, bite de pillow, touch de toes battyman bendency. 
So Bruddas.
De trial of him former womman continue day by day,
So dis Rasta him have to be a bit circumspec' in wot me can say,
On account of it bein' sub judice.
But still me argument's thrust is
Rise up Bruddas!
Rise up Rastaman!
Rise up workers of de UK, as I n' I would say! 
Rise up Liberal Democrats! 
Actually, don't bother
Cos you is shite.


  1. BZZ. Freezing cold morning. Got a funeral to go to. Radio 4 full of standard gloomy news. And I am sitting at the kitchen table roaring with laughter. Thank you very much.

  2. This unusual comment has been conveyed to me by an intermediary, penned on a sheet of Bronco lavatory paper of the sort that I thought no longer available.

    'Although to my taste Mr. Zephyr Zodiac's verses are not poetry in the conventional sense and, in fact, are more akin to emissions or indeed evacuations, I believe them to be a genuine contribution to road safety.'


    Ali 'You're Nicked' D (Izaei)
    The Shrubbery
    Du Cane Road
    London W11

  3. An epiphany should be shared, don't you agree, and I found the key to B2Z's revelations when Wikipedia told me that "Rasterisation (or rasterization) is the task of taking an image described in a vector graphics format (shapes) and converting it into a raster image (pixels or dots) for output on a video display or printer, or for storage in a bitmap file format".

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