Comedian Steve Coogan shocks world by admitting "I support Labour!"

Top British comic, Steve Coogan, rocked the entertainment world last night by admitting that he’s a socialist. Speaking at the opening of a new tailors in Shoreditch, the 47 year old funnyman, creator of such hit series as Knowing Me, Knowing You with Alan Partridge and I’m Alan Partridge, and who has a host of appearances in Hollywood films under his belt, delivered another bombshell by admitting, “I want to help the Labour Party”.

As shocked onlookers stifled gasps, the madcap maestro of mirth added: “I’m sometimes very Left-wing, other times a little Left-wing, but I never go right of that centre post.”

As his support team tried to limit the damage by hustling the star away from reporters, he shouted, “Rich people should pay more tax to help poor people!”

Coogan’s astonishing revelation has left a serious question-mark over his career prospects. Several former top comedians, who asked not to be named (i.e. Stephen Fry, Mark Steel, Mark Strong, Sandi Toksvig, Stewart Lee, Alexei Sayle, Eddie Izzard, Jo Brand, Jeremy Hardy, Marcus Brigstocke, Liam Byrne, Dara O’Briain, Chris Addison etc etc etc on and on ad nauseam until the end of time) feared Coogan might be committing career suicide. They warned that furious right-wing BBC and Channel 4 executives would almost certainly take revenge on the curly-headed c… (stop that! Ed) by banning him from the airwaves.

“His only hope now is to recant and blame a mixture of alcohol and antihistamines for his bizarre outburst,” said Ben Elton, who hasn’t made anyone laugh since attacking Mrs Thatcher in the 1980s. “As for films,” Elton continued, “he can forget all that. The Tea Party has had a stranglehold on Hollywood for years. Basically, he’s finished as a top-earning entertainer.”

Labour leader, Ed Miliband, praised Coogan in the wake of his comments: “I’d love to work with Steve. He makes me piss my pants laughing. It’s such a long time since any member of the chuckle industry admitted that they have reservations about the Tories, I still can’t quite believe it. Perhaps more comics will take heart from Steve’s display of courage and come out of the political closet. We desperately need entertainers to put the case for Labour – after all, the Tories have hundreds of them on their side (believed to be a reference to the so-called "Godfather of British Comedy", Jim Davidson, and no one’s too sure about Andrew Alexander or Jack Dee… er, that’s it, really).

Coogan, who has an impeccable reputation as a staunch family man and who has made no secret of his unrelenting opposition to drugs, alcohol and casual sex, has gone into hiding, but posted this comment on Twitter late last night:

“So sick of Tory propaganda from other entertainers – someone had to take a stand! Why not me?”