Well, I must say, it’s been a great six months for Wayne Rooney. In rapid succession he has let down his country, his family, and his club. So there he was, the spud-faced little multi-millionaire, with the world at his feet. All he needed to do was slot it past the goal-keeper, and he was heading for national treasuredom. Instead, as he’s done with every ball he’s received in open play for United since March, he went and ballooned it into the stands. Three times in a row.
So, why would anyone – even a Liverpudlian – act in quite such a derangedly self-destructive manner?
I’m no psychologist, but I imagine it has to do with his truly spectacular loss of form this summer. We were all expecting such great things from him, and he was bad beyond belief – there hasn’t been a greater disappointment since the dentally and folically-challenged Brazilian striker Ronaldo (no, not the revolting Portuguese who used play alongside Rooney) gave a spectacularly nutsoid performance at the 1998 World Cup, practically handing the trophy to France in the process.
It seems evident that Rooney can’t handle the shame of having let down so many people, so he has acted in the fashion of a typical modern working class teenager (I assume his emotional age is about 14) by punishing everyone who was on his side (all England fans, his family, everyone who supports or worksfor Manchester United). Why? Because they believed in him and they were wrong! Which makes his failures on the pitch their fault, not his. See?
Someone should just have taken him aside and reminded him that at the 2002 World Cup, Ronaldo picked up the Golden Boot for scoring eight goals, two of which came in the victorious final against Germany.
It’ll be more interesting to see if Alex Ferguson sticks around to build yet another top team: his reputation as Britain’s most successful ever manager is secure. As for Rooney, let’s just hope he buggers off to Spain: I’m sure we’re sick of the sight of the little twerp.
Benedict Cumberbatch. Now that is a shame. There I was, starting to like him for being good in the BBC’s updated version of Sherlock Holmes and for coming across well chairing a recent edition of Have I Got News For You. I was even starting to wonder if he belonged to that rarest of all breeds, the Tory actor who nevertheless gets lots of work at the BBC. But no, of course not – he has just attended a public sector rally whining about those horrible Tory “cuts”. How fantastically predictable and tedious of him.
Ken Livingstone, one of the most revolting, pus-filled boils to ever disfigure the backside of British politics, has decided to celebrate his confirmation as Labour’s official mayoral candidate against Boris Johnson in 2012 by publicly supporting a man sacked as Labour’s candidate for mayor of Tower Hamlets because of his links with Islamic fundamentalists. Many people regard Livingstone as stupid: that he most certainly is, but, then again, so are many politicians. He’s also evil – and that’s rather more serious.
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