Thursday, 30 March 2017

Whatever we Brexiteers do, we simply must resist the urge to gloat...

I was trying to feel sorry for Remainers yesterday morning, because a lot of them must have been feeling a bit like this poor little chap. Then I checked my various social media feeds...

...after which I decided to turn the whole of Brexit Day One into one long, glorious gloat-fest:
...which, of course, would make any Leave voter question the wisdom of their choice. As would the sensible approach of Remainers who think the best thing now would be for them to pitch in and help secure the best possible Brexit deal:
Ah, yes, the infamous, tight-knit, sinister junta consisting of a mere 17,410,742 plotters.  But who is going to stop this tiny cadre of power-crazed fascists?
Still waiting for an answer.  Oh, hang on - according to this Labour MP, it seems lighting candles could put a stop to Brexit:
The leader of the Lib-Dems (remember them?) thinks we should hold a referendum on the issue:
Perhaps little Timmy was on holiday last June and missed the bit where British voters actually had the final say on Brexit. Still, at least the BBC is concentrating on the major players:
The former foreign minister of Romania? I've just wet myself! 
I'm not sure Nick understands how this referendum stuff works. As he was until quite recently the political editor of the BBC you'd think he might have grasped that these weren't electoral promises made by a government-in-waiting. Because, if he does understand this remarkably simple point, then he was being deliberately misleading, and I'm sure he didn't mean to be, as this might lead to charges that the BBC was somehow biased in favour of Remain. Which, given the unique way the BBC is funded, would be unthinkable.

Mind you, I think we should applaud Remainers for their refusal to resort to hysterical, emotional nonsense to support their case: 
(Answers on the back of a postcard, please.) 

The only improvements to this next item would be lettering made from cut-up newspapers and "WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!" in 60pt caps at the bottom: 
And they're right, of course, because if the UK hadn't voted to leave the EU, this country would never again have experienced job losses, bankruptcies, factory closures or lengthening NHS waiting lists, because absolutely none of these things has happened since Britain joined the EEC in 1973. 

I'll leave the final word to The Observer, which adopted a surprisingly upbeat, conciliatory tone in last Sunday: 
You wouldn't imagine that Theresa May was simply trying to deliver what the voters asked for, would you? But, then, the metropolitan Liberal-Left stopped caring what the voters want - especially those who might not be overly familiar with the works of Albert Camus - a very long time ago. 

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