Thursday, 11 August 2016

Forget issuing new guidance on the use of statistics, BBC - just hire some conservative and right-wing journalists

The BBC Trust has decided that the corporation's cultural Marxist propaganda platform, Newsnight, was wrong to allow the current doyenne of self-regarding, addle-pated, left-wing British luvvies (Emma Thompson, in case there was any doubt) to spew out lies about the likely effect of man-made climate change on average temperatures in the near future. According to the EU-loving, business-baiting, eco-loon actress - who showed her utter contempt for this country during the EU referendum campaign by calling it "a tiny little cloud-bolted, rainy corner of sort-of Europe ... a cake-filled misery-laden grey old island" - our evil, selfish, Gaia-raping activities are set to cause an increase of 7.2°F by 2013, "if they [oil companies] take out of the earth all the oil they want to." Despite her assertions being wrong on every single imaginable level, interviewer Emily Maitlis didn't think they needed to be challenged. The BBC's response to this display of journalistic incompetence and the subsequent knuckle-rap from the Trust has been to confirm that it's bringing in new guidelines on how statistics are handled.

Well, whoop-de-doo!

Here are some other actions they should have announced at the same time:

(1) An immediate embargo on interviewing members of the arts community on any politically or scientifically or socially contentious subject, because they appear to know sod all about anything, and news journalists appear to be dazzled by their sheer glamour into believing that these posturing ninnies are serious grown-ups with a sensible contribution to make to national debates, when the majority of them are dim narcissists who adopt beliefs on the basis of how good they make them feel about themselves.

(2) An announcement that the BBC's news directorate will immediately implement a policy of positive discrimination when it comes to hiring journalists for the foreseeable future, with a view to introducing as many conservative and right-wingers as possible in order to allow the corporation to reconnect meaningfully with the vast swathe of licence-payers whose views it currently ignores or derides. Specific subjects to be addressed during boards would include candidates' attitudes to climate change, public spending, multiculturalism, UKIP and the EU. Successful candidates would not have to be rabidly right-wing on all these topics - but they would have to convince members of the board that they don't automatically despise everyone with non-Islingtonian views on these issues.

(3) An announcement that Newsnight is to be cancelled with immediate effect, because it's evidently produced by a coterie of smug metropolitan left-liberals for an increasingly dwindling average audience of about 550,000 smug metropolitan left-liberals - and there is absolutely no justification for the licence fee being mis-spent in this way. (Perhaps it could be replaced by a programme celebrating Britain's history, its people, and its culture - wouldn't that make a nice change?)

The Guardian, of which Newsnight's current editor used to be deputy editor, made a loss of £69m last year. I'm not sure this fact has any relevance to the rest of this post, but I just thought it might cheer everyone up.

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