This is how I feel when…

...Yasmin Alibhai Brown opens her mouth

Serial sackee Piers Morgan tweets that someone should be sacked (which happens A LOT)

When any public sector institution announces any form of quota system for appointees based on race or sexual preference (or sexual perversion)

Doctors demand that certain types of commonly available food or drink should be banned or modified for our own good

Big Business claims to be helping to save the planet rather than just making profits

Some spectacularly unfunny BBC “comic” who wouldn’t say boo to a Mulsim sneers at Christians

Some idiot assures us that Britain is a weally waycist countwy

We receive the 823rd A4 envelope full of glossy bumph from Virgin offering us an all-in-one broadband/telephone/cable TV deal

Someone is described as “courageous” for emitting smug leftist platitudes that won’t harm their career in any way

Police and politicians warn us of Islamist plots as if Britain’s bizarre immigration policy, multiculti liberalism and lack of border controls is our fault rather than theirs

Any politician or public sector agency head in the wake of a disaster tells us – sternly - that “lessons must be learned going forward”, as if we are the ones who have to learn them

Anglican bishops fail to stand up for their church, their religion, or Christians generally

Any Liberal Democrat minister says anything whatsoever – it’s always a shock to be reminded that these meaningless, unprincipled wankers are actually in power

Some crazed equality-junkie demands that universities radically alter their admissions policies to mask the failure of state schools

I see a wind turbine

A rich actor or pop star demands that poor people donate money to whichever cause is making that actor or pop star feel really good about themselves at that particular moment

Wayne Rooney tells us on the eve of a World Cup competition that England can win it this time

…and it’s the way I’ll feel if Alastair Cook yet again fails to score runs in the First test against India, which is due to start in half an hour.