Sunday, 8 June 2014

Rumours of Benjamin Zephyr Zodiac's demise prove to be exaggerated - the Greatest Poet of Our Age is back!

Well, there we all were, convinced that the angry, compassionate spokesman for an angry, compassionate generation had ascended in a cloud of ganja smoke to that great Government Yard in the sky - and it turns out he's still with us and on top form! In "A Tragedy for the Nation" - an ineffably poignant lament for the passing of his beloved Liberal Democrat Party - he gives voice (as only he can) to the bewilderment, shock and pain of Britain's mourning masses:

"A Tragedy for the Nation" by Benjamin Zephyr Zodiac
Just like in dat book publish by RS Dangerfield
'Bout de Strange Death of Liberal Babylon in 1910
Tragedy has struck an' I n' I is starting fe to feel
Dat de exack same t'ing is likely gwan happen again.
What tragedy has befell dis party, dis beacon for righteousness an' troot
Dat shine de mighty light of Ja on inickw…inniqu…wrongness
An' stand up fe de rights of de bruddas and de yoot
An give discriminashun
Across de nashun
A good kicking' wid Ja's mighty left-leanin' boot?
Bruddas, dis Rasta gwan fe to say
Dat dis tragedy did start on de very day
Dat a carbon gas guzzlin' BMW speeded down de M 60 motoway
Wid de party spokesman on green issues Huhne at de wheel
Which was a t'ing him tried to conceal
From de Babylon when dem take him in for questioning
Cos him not want to face dat day of reckoning
When Ja would fe to hold him feet to his mighty fire
If ever it did transpire
Dat him force him wife to take de penalty points on her licence
An' after dat fe to take a vow of silence
So dat de investigator
Gwan be in a state of puzzlement as to whose was de actual foot on de accelerator.
While Huhne took up wid a strange lookin' lanky wimmin wid a fringe
Who seem to swing both ways at de same time
Altho' Bruddas dat is not a crime
Or a cause fe all de tabloid hysteria
Unless you happen to live in Nigeria.
An' ever since, all dis arguin' an' strife between Clegg an' Vince
Threaten to make mince
Meat of de party at de General Eleckshun
An' see dem fe to face rejeckshun
An' humiliashun and disintegrashun
Which is a pain,
Cos dis Rasta want to cast him vote fe de LibDems again
An' mek sure all me bitchas do de same.
So where does dis lead us, so I an' I would say?
Well Bruddas, to de court of justice in de case of Huhne an Vick
Altho' both of dem is now out of de nick.
But de damage is done, an' the A60 of shame point in jus' one direckshun
To de Newark by-eleckshun
Where de infeckshun
Of scandal
Reduce de turnout of de constituents who is wearing de straggly beards an' open-toe sandals
From a mighty river of Ja's righteous wrath
To a 1004 vote trickle of flummery an' froth
An a tragedy fe de Party to which I have plighted me troth
Becos it
Came sixth and lost its deposit.
An' t'ing.


  1. You're going to hell.

    We must meet up there.