Friday, 17 May 2013

Venezuela’s socialist revolution runs out of bog roll

After ten years of the late presidente Hugo Chavez’s policy of bribing the poor by subsidising the cost of basic goods, Venezuelans have run out of toilet power. Supplies of sugar, cooking oil and corn flour – amongst other basic necessities - are also in short supply. Chavez’s hand-picked socialist successor has pledged to solve the bum-fodder problem by importing 50 million rolls – but as the population is over 29 million, relief is likely to be temporary.

The war-time phrase “one for up, one for down and one for polish” would suggest that every Venezuelan is going to need between three and six sheets a day, the solution might keep the skid-marks at bay for a couple of months – but, given that the average person uses 8.6 sheets per visit these days and the average roll contains between 350 and 500 sheets, and that distribution will be incompetently, I reckon 50 million rolls will last less than a month.

One of the reasons I’ve given up arguing with left-wingers is that they’re uninterested in the results of the policies they champion. We rightists are obsessed with results - we want to implement policies that work, so we generally require some evidence that they will: we look for examples of where similar policies have worked either in our own country, or abroad. If you’re a left-winger, the last thing you look for is evidence of a policy’s likely success: in fact, it’s worse than that – no amount of evidence that similar policies have failed wherever they’ve been tried will dent their enthusiasm, because, as I’ve often pointed out, their only real concern is how championing and implementing initiatives makes them feel. The confirmation of their own moral superiority that results from supporting a victim-supporting policy is the reward they seek – whether it actually improves lives is neither here nor there.

Lefties aren’t necessarily aware that results don’t matter to them: because they’re so addicted to spouting nonsense that makes them feel good, they seem capable of convincing themselves that either (a) something that has never worked before will – for reasons which are never articulated – work splendidly this time round (if we all join hands and wish very very hard), or (b) the policy actually has worked in the past and we’ve just misinterpreted the fact that lots of people died or suffered hardship as a sign of failure. When their dumb policies fail – as they always do - rather than face the fact that they got it wrong (yet again) they convince themselves enemies of the state (or the revolution or whatever) sabotaged their brilliant initiative. Every failed socialist policy ends in a search for scapegoats: these usually turn out to be the very people who warned the socialists that their crappy policy wouldn’t work when it was first mooted. In Venezuela’s case, the "disruptive" media are apparently responsible for the lack of loo rolls.

I’ve recently been reading Irving Babbitt, a conservative American cultural critic of the early 20th century, who was deeply suspicious of self-pleasing, left-wing do-gooders (whom he described as "humanitarians"). He nailed their capacity for self-deception some ninety years ago: “nothing short of the suicide of the planet would avail to convince the humanitarians that anything is wrong with their theory – and even then, the last surviving humanitarian would no doubt continue to moan conspiracy.”


Venezuela’s current shortages are partly the result currency controls introduced by our liberal media's poster-boy Hugo Chavez to stop the flight of capital that resulted from his insane plundering of private business to finance wealth redistribution. Inevitably, there now isn’t enough foreign currency available to buy the raw material and machinery needed by Venezuelanindustry. Well, doh! Venezuela’s foreign minister this week claimed “We are making progress…we have to work very hard.” Chilling words – when left-wing politicians work very hard, you know things are going to get even worse.


  1. I think you should contact the Venezuelan government and offer yourself as a consultant immediately (as long as you don't mind being paid in bolivars).

  2. I would, of course, that's good advice, but I know where my duty lies, and I cannot leave Europe until the olive oil jug scandal has been fully exposed and a final solution implemented.

  3. Good idea - just makee sure you demand payment in sterling rather than soon-to-be worthless euros.

    1. I don't want to be a bore about this but ...

      Oh alright I do want to be a bore about it.

      Jeff Randall says – and Jeff Randall knows – that the Eurozone will shrink to include just the countries with strong economies. Having dumped the others, the value of the Euro will rocket, not fall.

      Sterling? Euros? Bitcoin? No. I'm over 18 and I shall insist on being paid in Rock River AR15s from Zombie Killer Guns, (877) 281-1155, "God & Guns Since 1776, LIVE FREE OR DIE", Free Shipping to an FFL Dealer near you.

  4. The Times, 21 September 2013, 'Troops move in as shortages prompt new roll for Venezuela':

    The government in Venezuela has temporarily taken over the running of a factory in what can only be described as a new roll for the state.

    A state agency yesterday ordered the ocuupation [sic] of a firm that produces toilet paper in what it called an effort to ensure consistent supplies after embarrassing shortages earlier this year ...

    "The action in the producer of toilet paper, sanitary napkins and disposable diapers responds to the state’s obligation to ensure a steady supply of basic goods for the people," Sundecop said, adding it had observed"the violation of the right" to access such products ...

    They blame unscrupulous merchants for hoarding products to make quick profits, and celebrate the socialist government’s legacy of social assistance programs.

    Critics say the shortages of consumer goods are caused by businesses’ inability to import raw materials and machinery because of a shortage of hard currency under the exchange controls.

    1. Apart from terms such as "moron", "idiot", "fool", "dunderhead", "Ed Miliband', and "socialist", is there a specific term for people who are seemingly incapable of understanding the connection between cause and effect? Socialistic interference in the operation of free markets have led to shortages of basic goods wherever and whenever they have been introduced. Not to be able to understand or accept this easily demonstrable fact must surely be a sign of mental illness. There must be a name for this condition.