Friday, 3 May 2013

UKIP's marvellous local election results are enough to make a right-winger skip for joy!

Chesterton’s “Secret People” have finally given our urban liberal-left politico-media elite an extremely painful kick up the khyber – splendid!
Smile at us, pay us, pass us; but do not quite forget,
For we are the people of England, that never has spoken yet

Well, the people of England – the ones who are proud of their country, don’t live in Notting Hill or Islington, work in the private sector and don't live off other people's taxes – said an awful lot yesterday by giving UKIP a quarter of the popular vote in the local elections, thereby preventing either Labour or the Tories  reaching 30%.

I’ve just spent an amusing hour watching the BBC’s election coverage. Various ludicrous Labour and Lib Dem MPs and chairman and deputy leaders and whatnot were dragged into the studio to have their bottoms spanked over their poor showings. Harriet Harman and “fat wanker” Tom Watson were the silliest, the Lib Dems all looked like whipped puppies, while, for the Tories, Michael Gove and Eric Pickles seemed decidedly uneasy – one suspects because they’re far keener on UKIP policies than those of their own party.

Leaving aside Labour’s inability to get back all the losses it made in 2010 when electors were gleefully punishing the then PM Gordon “Bugsy” Brown at the ballot box, the main talking point is how many Tory voters will return to the fold in 2015 when faced with the prospect of someone as footling as Ed Miliband becoming Prime Minister. If you add last night’s UKIP and Conservative share of the vote together you have an unassailable 48%. The real question is which section of the Tory Party is more likely to be able to convince UKIP voters to return – the left wing or the right wing.

Tricky one this, because, of course, many UKIP voters will be jolly worried about losing such winning left-wing policies as staying in the EU at practically any cost; doing nothing about the flood of Romanians and Bulgarians heading for the UK next year; intruding gay marriage; splattering the countryside with yet more wind-turbines; cutting the size of the police force; shrinking the military to such an extent that it would be hard-pressed to defend Lichtenstein; bullying universities to accept a greater number of ethnic and working-class students with rubbish A-levels; refusing to countenance the re-introduction of grammar schools; and, of course, doing nothing whatsoever to pay back our national debt…

Oh no, hang on: UKIP supporters are against each and every one of the policies foisted on the Tory party by its anti-Thatcher wing and their Lib-Dem bum-chums: that's why they voted for UKIP.

If the Tories want those who’ve deserted them for UKIP to return in time for the 2015 general election, they’ll have to turn so sharply to the right, the G-force will make their eyballs pop out.

The men in grey suits (if they still exist) have a simple choice: (a) stick with Cameron and Osborne and their toxically deluded “Blue Labour” Tory advisers, and hope that Ed Miliband’s terrifying awfulness will scare former voters into coming to heel, or (b) defenestrate the posh boys right now, tell the Lib-Dems to boil their heads, start negotiations with Nigel Farage - and choose a Thatcherite as party leader.

Of course, it’s all too late – there isn’t a single reason on earth for Nigel Farage to play ball with the Tories at this point, and certainly not while Cameron remains in charge. From the abjectness of Cameron’s response today to UKIP’s extraordinary (albeit unsurprising) success, it’s evident he doesn’t have a clue what to do – that’s the problem with having no political principles or instincts. If only he’d shown some courage after the 2010 election and refused to form a coalition with a left-wing party, he’d have been in power within six months with an outright majority, and the country might be slightly less of an economic basket-case. (I said all this three years ago – here - in a post entitled “Potentially a great day for the Tories - if the LibDems say no!”.)

Whatever happens, there’s nothing quite as heartening as the real people of England – the ones who keep this country going no matter which section of the oligarchy lied its way to electoral victory last time round – finally waking up and speaking VERY VERY LOUDLY.


  1. A very perceptive post. We are in deep trouble with our economy, external and internal security and we have possibly the silliest set of politicians amongst the serious Western nations. Your comment " that’s the problem with having no political principles or instincts" is particularly accurate. And which basically scares the living shit out of me. I am probably misquoting him, but I think Plato said that the only people who should be given political power are those that do not seek it.

    Also, it is becoming more obvious that people who are seeking high political office are far more interested in the "trappings" of power rather than in the hard grind of exercising it. I mean, Tom Watson, what the hell is he all about [yes, I have taken out all the expletives]?

  2. Watson made a thinly-veiled smear against Lord McAlpine in Parliament (hiding behind privilege). He's hysterical about Rupert Murdoch - once likening him to a Mafia boss. He concentrates on the big issues: in his first year in parliament he campaigned for Gary Glitter's album sales to be halted, and then went on to secure pardons for First World War soldiers shot for cowardice. He is hysterical about the possibility of a Fox News-type channel being launched on British TV, despite the fact that broadcasting rules make this impossible. He was once named "Top Toadie" by the Guardian. He wrote an open letter to Tony Blair ordering him to stand down so Gordon Brown could take over - which obviously worked well. He claimed £4,800 for food in a single year before the MPs expenses scandal broke, which may well explain his appearance. In short, he really is a fat wanker.

  3. I don't think you should be going around calling Watson a "fat wanker" just because he stuffed £4,800 worth of the tax-payers grub down his throat. Respect the uniform, not the man. If we lose respect for office we have nought, lad.

  4. On the subject of fat wankers do you know anything about developments on the Vaz front? Have the Old Bill put all their resources into Operation Yewtree? This inquiry seems to have mysteriously died.

    1. On October 2nd 2012 the Chaiman of the Home Affairs Select Committee (i.e. Keith Vaz) and Privy Councillor (also Keith Vaz) described the £500,000 at issue as "legitimate". That's good enough for me and should (I suggest) be good enough for you. I think we can rest assured that, had there been a scintilla of doubt about these transactions either the police or the House of Commons itself would jolly well have done something about it.

      As you yourself remarked, 'if we lose respect for office we have nought".