Thursday, 7 March 2013

How to get rid of a mattress: people who are too stupid to live

Okay, i want to burn my mattress, how to do it?!!?
so......................I have a mattress and i want to get rid of it. It won't fit through the door, so i've decided to burn it without burning the WHOLE house down. I already covered the walls in foil, as i'm guessing this prevents the fire from getting past the walls. Will that be good enough?!?!

This request for advice was posted on Yahoo Answers in 2011 (here). My favourite answer was this one:

Go for it, you seem so have taken all the necessary precautions with the foil and what-not, nothing can possibly go wrong...

Obviously, I hope the original question was a hoax – but I have a horrible suspicion it wasn't, as "Katy" chose a very sensible response as the “Best Answer” to her predicament ("even though you kinda called me an idiot").

Of course, extreme stupidity is sometimes beneficial to humanity, as this old favourite of mine from The Darwin Awards website (here) demonstrates:

5 September 1999, Jerusalem     
In most parts of the world, the switch away from Daylight Saving Time proceeds smoothly. But the time change raised havoc with Palestinian terrorists this year. 
Israel insisted on a premature switch from Daylight Savings Time to Standard Time to accommodate a week of pre-sunrise prayers. Palestinians refused to live on "Zionist Time." Two weeks of scheduling havoc ensued. Nobody knew the "correct" time. 
At precisely 5:30pm on Sunday, two coordinated car bombs exploded in different cities, killing three terrorists who were transporting the bombs. It was initially believed that the devices had been detonated prematurely by klutzy amateurs. A closer look revealed the truth behind the explosions. 
The bombs had been prepared in a Palestine-controlled area, and set to detonate on Daylight Saving Time. But the confused drivers had already switched to Standard Time. When they picked up the bombs, they neglected to ask whose watch was used to set the timing mechanism. As a result, the cars were still en-route when the explosives detonated, delivering the terrorists to their untimely demises.
It would take a heart of stone etc...


  1. Mattresses. Bit close to the bone.

    Palestinian suicide bombers. A very big chortle. Hope your relations in N don't read your blog!

  2. Some day I'll figure out what it is about my Norwegian relatives and their obsession with Palestinians - an obsession which, needless to say, I very much don't share.

  3. choosing a mattress is very much important specially we would sleep on that mattress..we should choose the best quality of it..