Sunday, 25 March 2012

Bob Crow, Ken Livingstone and Boris Johnston – one of the funniest stories of the year

Nice bloke!
As Richard Littlejohn would say (and probably is, at this very moment), “You couldn’t make it up!” According to the Telegraph's London Correspondent, Andrew Gilligan (he of dodgy dossier fame), Bob Crow has threatened to sue Boris Johnston for “associating him” with Ken Livingstone. (You can read the full, mad story here.)

If there are two people more despised by decent Londoners than Crow and Livingstone – both of whom I consider to be evil wreckers motivated by hatred and resentment – please feel free to name them.

All it needs now is for Ken Livingstone to threaten to sue Boris Johnston for “associating him” with Bob Crow, and we will have the most jaw-droppingly ridiculous story of the year - possibly of the decade.

Oh, hang on, I’ve just remembered – there has been a sillier story just recently: George Osborne deciding that those wretched pensioners who’ve had the temerity not to rely entirely on the state pension in their old age – practically every one a Conservative voter, no doubt – deserve to be punished for not being feckless spendthrifts. 

Really nice bloke!
Oh, and there’s the story about couples where one of them makes over £60,000 a year and the other stays at home to look after their children being punished by having child benefit taken away from them, while a couple who both earn £59,000 and farm their kids out to Polish child-minders get to keep it (I know the figures change every few days, by the way). George Osborne went to St Paul's: I have met some Old Paulines who weren't total bastards - but not many

No, I really think that a “Conservative” chancellor choosing to punish people who save money and are at home long enough to remember their children's names without the aid of flash-cards is even more unlikely that two cosmically horrible, malevolent, lefty shitbags falling out.

But it’s a close-run thing.

As Sir John Junor would no doubt have put it – “Pass the sick-bag, Alice!”

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