Tuesday, 13 September 2011

The academic establishment's measured response to David Starkey

Word Up, Bro.

It has cum to our attention that four-eyed white batty bwoy Dave Starkey has entered our hood wivout permission.

He was seen on TV las’ week runnin’ off at de mouf about Race on “Don’t Ask Awkward Questions Time”. Listen, man, dat territory is ours - da feared “Wordies” gang - and we is like incest that he finks he got da right to talk about dis t’ing wivout our permission nor nuffink.

Well out of order man, innit!

Next time dis guy – who don’t know nuffink about nuffink and is like a fascist and probly a fan of Thatchler – next time he open his mouf and talk bout stuff which we da Wordies has ruled on, we gonna roll up at his crib and shut his mouf for good innit.

Any noosepapes or webs or TV channs aiding dis racist scum swine who ain’t no kind of playa and is like not even ‘uman is gonna be in big trouble, innit. We is tooled up and ready to defend our BBC-given right to tell everyone what to fink. We got control, right, and we is gonna keep it!

You is like well warned man innit.

Yours More in Sorrow than Anger,

102 Distinguished Left-liberal Academics (aka Da Wordies)


  1. David Starkey has only one major drawback in my opinion. It is his verbal delivery. He always sounds like he is straining on an enormous stool.
    Friday, August 26, 2011 - 08:53 PM

  2. There are many things in life I don't want to have to think ab out, but the sort of items that may or may not pass along Professor Starkey's back passage come pretty high on the list.
    Monday, August 29, 2011 - 05:11 PM

  3. If indeed the Prof does have evacuation-related issues, may I recommend a vigorous dance floor workout along the lines so helpfully illustrated in your Roy Head clip. It would be difficult to envisage anything remaining in the same place after that amount of displacement activity.
    Wednesday, August 31, 2011 - 12:20 AM

  4. I imagine the good professor adopted many of the positions demonstrated by the supple Mr. Head during the halcyon nights he spent on Hampstead Heath in his youth, to which he frequently alludes.
    Thursday, September 1, 2011 - 05:17 PM

  5. I mean, of course, that Starkey spent time on Hampstead Heath, rather than Roy Head, who probably never visited it, despite his name.
    Thursday, September 1, 2011 - 05:23 PM

  6. That's a brilliant transcription of third generation Jamaican London street lingo! Nice one, bruv!
    Saturday, September 3, 2011 - 08:28 AM