Friday, 27 May 2011

Tory ministers are now simply taking the piss

Hang on, let me get this straight. We have a Conservative Prime Minister and a Conservative Chancellor or the Exchequer. Last month, public spending was the highest ever recorded in April, adding an unexpected £3,500,000,000 to the deficit.

Did I miss something, or wasn’t this the party that was supposed to be serious about getting runaway spending under control?

Yesterday we learned that immigration into the UK has risen for the fifth successive quarter, almost reaching the record levels set in 2005 when the deranged tossers then governing us were operating an open door policy.

Have I dropped a stitch, or didn’t the Tories campaign on the need to get a grip on the number of foreigners flooding into this country?

Today we learn that, not content with contributing a shedload of cash to the G8 aid package for Middle Eastern countries which have recently toppled brutal dictators – and are now waiting for the next tranche of fascist kleptocrats to pick up the reins – we’re actually financing an extra British bung of £110,000,000 in the vain hope that zillions of immigrants from those countries won’t flood into the EU and that their home-grown Islamo-fascist psychopaths will stop trying to blow us all up.

It hardly seems worth asking the question, but which of us, when we find ourselves heavily in debt, run out the front door in order to hand fistfuls of money we’ve borrowed at a high rate of interest to the immigrants indulging in internecine gang warfare in the next street? This is an example of certifiable insanity. Dave, listen to me - these people will not thank us: THEY ARE INCAPABLE OF GRATITUDE!

And today, our Tory Education Minister has announced measures to stop the sort of selfish, middle-class bastards who are the mainstay of the Tory Party manipulating the system to get their offspring into the best state schools.

When, exactly, did the Tory Party decide that brains, determination and trying to give your kids a helping hand merited punishment?

Why exactly did we vote Tory? 

So that we wouldn’t pay off our debts or make any serious attempt to live within our mean? So that our taxes would be handed over to countries that (a) aren’t actually that poor, (b) turn a blind eye to the regular massacre of Christians?  So that the immigration we’ve been moaning about for years would actually increase? So that parents too lazy or too dumb to look out for their kids are rewarded for being dumb and/or lazy?

As a former Tory, let me make a few suggestions: cut public spending, start paying off our debts, give us that promised referendum on the EU  (you remember, Dave - the one that came with a “cast-iron guarantee”) so we can leave it and staunch the flood of immigrants, cut aid to the Middle East (it’ll only wind up in Swiss bank accounts in any case) and start supporting parents bright and determined enough to get their kids into half-decent schools. 

Otherwise, your natural supporters will begin to suspect - if they haven’t already begun to do so - that you’re just taking the piss.  


  1. Scott

    Are you sitting down?

    Far from all sharp objects?

    No hot liquids to hand?

    Then I'll begin.

    On Wednesday evening I had occasion to talk to ... someone who knows ... who told me that the problem at DfID just at the moment, with its £7 billion to spend on aid, is to find enough recipients -- vetted recipients, known to be worthy, whose use of the money can be accounted for and reported back to Parliament. They may end up having to give it to the likes of the UN to distribute. They'd rather not, but their hand could be forced.
    Friday, May 27, 2011 - 06:24 PM

  2. I'm not quite sure how to represent a roar of rage and horror - you'll just have to iacceopt that one escaped me when I read your comment.

    Monday, May 30, 2011 - 11:57 AM