How to turn a programme about birds into socialist propaganda

The BBC’s tendency to squeeze political propaganda into every nook and cranny of its output would be hilarious if it weren’t so thoroughly depressing: the habit has become so entrenched, I’m not sure they even know they’re doing it.

For instance, there’s an excellent series running on BBC4 at the moment called Birds Britannia – which, as you might have guessed, is about the relationship between Britons and their bird population. As always with BBC nature programmes, the camerawork is stunning, most of the contributions are illuminating, and the whole thing is packed with interesting tid-bits. I didn’t know, for instance, the legend that the robin – Britain’s favourite bird – got its red breast by plucking a bloody thorn from the Crown of Thorns on Jesus’ head. Or that feeding garden birds became illegal during the First World War, because it wasted food – and people were actually prosecuted for doing so. 

But leaving the programme’s considerable merits aside, the episode on countryside birds this week featured two bizarre and completely unjustified examples of left-wing propaganda.

When Sir Edward Grey, Britain’s Liberal foreign secretary, met the visiting American President, Theodore Roosevelt, in 1910, the two men went strolling alone in the New Forest, where they “simply talked birds” (between them, managing to identify 40 species in total, mostly from their song alone). Later, Roosevelt declared it the highlight of his European tour. 

Cut to a still of Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Reagan sitting together. Voiceover: “Looking back, it’s hard to imagine modern political leaders enjoying such an innocent pastime.” (Innocent??? What were Maggie and Ronnie doing – planning a poison gas attack on the world’s bird population? IINNOCENT???).

Interviewee (Rob Lambert, Nottingham University): “Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Reagan had a very strong relationship based around shared political ideals. The friendship between Grey and Roosevelt was based on a passion, a love for birds, an appreciation of the British countryside.” 

Well, boo to horrid old Thatcher and Reagan – heartless countryside deniers! Philistines! Fascists!

Later, there’s a fascinating sequence about an extremely obscure British Second World War movie, Tawny Pipits, about villagers banding together to protect a pair of extremely rare nesting birds – according to one contributor, this was an allegory about the need to welcome refugees and help assimilate them into village life (sounds likely – why else would the film have received financing in the middle of the war?). Then, strangely (in between movie clips featuring an ornithologist corporal who sounded as if he could give Brian Sewell elocution lessons), Sir Christopher Frayling, bastion of our liberal arts establishment, puts in an appearance and, without a hint of irony, tells us: “Not just because of the birds – the rural socialism of the idea - that elderly colonel, the ornothologist corporal, the army, the nurse, the recuperating RAF man … they’re all in it together to support these two creatures being able to breed.”

Rural socialism? Is Frayling so politically biased he can’t imagine conservatives banding together to help other people? If this were socialism in action, there’d have been a bloody quango set up at great expense whose actions would have resulted in the death of the mating birds and their six chicks being taken into care and several locals being prosecuted!

More Bill Patterson voice-over: “Tawny Pipit may not seem like a very revolutionary film, yet its deeper message reflects the political and social climate of the time.”

Sir Christopher Frayling: “Very briefly, 1941, 42, 43, Britain almost became a socialist republic. That’s what happened in the war, everyone helping each other and you get a strong sense of that.”

Again, “socialism” is defined by Frayling in derangedly cuddly terms: “everyone helping each other”. 

Tosh. Nonsense. Rubbish. Bollocks!

Pure, bird-brained left-wing propaganda shoe-horned into a programme about birds! 

Apart from these infractions, at the end, the programme resorted to the usual environmentalist gloom-mongering without suggesting what -  apart from banning intensive, large-scale farming in the UK - might be done (or what we might do) to help reverse the severe population decline of many countryside birds. 

As a former horror writer, I know how much fun it is dreaming up ways of upsetting an audience – but here I felt we needed something more than the standard environmentalist “we’re all going to hell in a handcart” message. 

I expect Chris Frayling would be all for spending our taxes on yet another useless quango.