I think I know why so many undecided voters, and those who had previously been thinking of voting Labour or Conservative, have decided to switch allegiance to the LibDems.
It’s because they are incredibly stupid, frivolous, envious and selfish.
Why are they so stupid? Because they’re members of a generation for whom TV talent shows represent reality.
Mind you, I’m not suggesting that all Libdem supporters are stupid. Those who have always intended to vote that way obviously had some reason for doing so: perhaps a positive wish to see more criminals out on the street, or a desire to punish people whom luck or enterprise has blessed with bigger houses than they themselves can afford, or a genuine belief that going green is the answer to all of life’s problems, or to ensure that every single aspect of their life is controlled by Brussells, or to once and for all destroy the economy of this country so that it’s reduced to a sort of North European version of Zimbabwe (after all, a lack of razor blades and proper clothing could lead to a whole nation of bearded sandal-wearers - including the women). Who knows what goes on inside these people’s befuddled little heads? But, however deluded and wrong they may be, they’re not necessarily stupid.
But the late switchers are a different proposition. If they simply want to see the worst Prime Minister in history continue to dig Britain’s grave, they should just vote Labour. If they actually want to see more immigrants in this country, ditto. If they want to ensure that nothing whatsoever run by the government gets better in the next five years, just go for Gordon. God knows, the old glumster needs cheering up! If on the other hand, they want a vacuous, glossy, good-looking middle-class chap with nice manners, a fruity wife, and who doesn’t really have any particularly noticeable political convictions, why not vote for Dave?
Because they still resent Etonians? I wouldn’t be surprised. I had thought we’d all grown up a bit since the Seventies, but evidently not.
Because they work for the public sector and just can’t face the thought of playing the role of turkeys voting for Christmas, even when they know it’s the right thing for the country? Undoubtedly.
Because they haven’t got sufficient brainpower to figure out that a few soundbites during a television programme do not qualify anyone to run this once-proud and serious country? Yes, again.
We’re in danger of being landed with Gordon Brown for another five horrendous years because the bone-idle numbskulls of the X-Factor generation can’t be bothered to think about anything except their own wretched hides for longer that two minutes.
Hey bozos! This isn’t a TV reality show. Voting for Nick Clegg doesn’t just mean you get to buy the CD for Christmas: it means you and the rest of us get to live with the consequences of your incapacity for sustained thought until 2015, by when the people who’ve lent us a fortune might just have decided to switch off our financial life-support system.
Thank God Susan Boyle isn’t running for PM - she’d probably be doing even better than Clegg.
Anyway, the last few days have proved a timely reminder never to underestimate people’s stupidity. Let’s hope these silly twerps grow up between now and May 6th - or we are all well and truly screwed.
If Gordon Brown’s still in power on 7th May, will the last person to leave the country please switch off the TV? And if you were a late switcher to the LibDems - here’s a revolver and a glass of whiskey: do the decent thing.
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